my brother is back.. he bought alot of stuffs back for me n baobao.. buy D.O.M tonic wine.. bird nest.. my baby's jade rabbit.. and bed bed for baobao..
but tuesday go back china liao.. so fast..
just now chat with him n mum.. suddenly tok about that pet shop and my cousin.. finally my brother had a clearer picture of wat happen tat time.. and i got my family support and understanding.. but my mum still angry about my cousin.. and nv forget how they treat me.. actually.. me oso.. i cannot bring myself to smile at them.. i cant.. i know i shldnt angry wif a dying old woman.. afterall she's my grandma.. but if u ask me bring my baby over.. i do hesitate.. for her sake.. i shld do it.. but i donno hw to face the others.. after all i dont want to fake my feelings.. i dont hate them but i feel that they dont treat me like part of the family.. or shld say our relationship not very strong.. they side n dote on my cousin bcos she always help them and provide financially.. i nv contribute anything.. maybe tats y..
till now..there's still a prick in my heart.. i jus told my mum hw i feel.. i really donno wat to do.. my mind very confused.. as my elders.. i feel that they shld concern and understand the whole picture b4 they judge who's right or wrong.. but they dont even care and jus listen to my cousin.. i feel very malign and 'wei qu'.. and after so long.. they oso jus keep quiet and let assume time will heal.. but the most hurt person is me.. no one console me.. left me with shit n debts.. and depression..
this emotion damage..no one can cure..
y my dad left me so early.. no one is there to protect me.. or defend for me.. my mum is a peace woman..she wont create chaos.. but i knw she support me mentally.. now i knw she loves me.. when i pregnant and not working.. she is the one worry and helping me.. hubby supporting me financially.. my brother support the house expenses.. now i knw who is my family..
i lost entertainment n income.. hubby's friends are the ones who acc me.. even though we dont knw each other for years.. but they do treat me very nice.. i really appreciate..
i dont like to owe ppl anything.. especially 人情。。

feel better after typing out my feelings.. but still wondering wat to do.. any hints????